My Place

[Jynx]

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@Oaktree wrote:

@Shaz51 @Jynx 

I definitely overthink things. I tend to ruminate. I replay conversations in my mind over and over again. Causing myself more pain no doubt 

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@Oaktree my therapist was telling me recently about how important externalising is for our processing...process. Basically it's like... if we just keep it all inside, it can just swirl about in a cyclic manner and we never really find resolution. Externalising can be through talking about it, journalling, basically anything that allows you to express the thoughts (one of my go-to's nowadays is using my voice memo app as my journal... I do write stuff out from time to time but often find my mind moves way faster than my pen, so voice recording is much easier).

Maybe these conversations wouldn't revolve around in your mind so much if you had a crack at externalised them before they get too ruminatey? Food for thought, your process is your own of course!!

[Oaktree]

@Jynx 

I found that journaling didn’t work for me because I was not afraid of the words on the page and would write way worse things than I would tell my psychologist 

[Oaktree]

@Jynx 

Things are going ok with daughter. Trying to stay away from anything controversial. Haven’t discussed the fact that she was ignoring me and full out rejecting me. Just trying to do happy chit chat

[Shaz51]

That is the best way to go @Oaktree ,sometimes it is hard but the best in the long run by friend 🧡 

[Jynx]

@Oaktree yeah I'm with @Shaz51 baby steps eh? It might feel a bit like an elephant in the room but if/when the time is right to chat about it, I'm sure you'll both know.

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@Oaktree wrote:

I found that journaling didn’t work for me because I was not afraid of the words on the page and would write way worse things than I would tell my psychologist 

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I mean... to my mind that's exactly the point! (Though of course, disclaimer - everyone IS different and won't always resonate with this process, and that's okay!). As in, if these thoughts are too dark to share with the psych, or you're just not ready to share them yet, a private journal is the perfect place to be able to express them without any fear of repercussions. That's exactly what I did when I started having really distressing and violent intrusive thoughts when I was younger. I'd write em out then burn the page so no one ever saw, but also so it wasn't just sitting there in my brain. 

[Oaktree]

@Jynx 

Maybe a private journal is a good idea. Also I like the idea of burning it otherwise I tend to go back and reread it

[PeppyPatti]

Dear @Oaktree 

I know that story. .I feel still .... A bit sad that my dream that my brother's are not going to be this tight lovely immediate loving family in my life. 

I feel very sad that my two adult sons are not present in my life. 

What happened ? 

Why can't they see that I LOVE them??

There is no agenda ? 

My mother in law lives her life still at 89 years obsessively sewing quilts so she doesn't think of her different worries. I'm probably going to be like this too. 

[Shaz51]

I agree @Oaktree @Jynx 

[Shaz51]

Hugs my ❤️ 🤗 @PeppyPatti 

[Oaktree]

I am sorry @PeppyPatti 

I don’t think we are comparing.

I think we are validating each other.

I think it’s important to feel heard.

Of course you love them.

You can only do you, you can’t force them to reciprocate 

@Shaz51 @Jynx @Glisten @AD_SANE_LEM