Lived Experience Forum

[Paulette]

Hi Backspin,

That is great to hear you are going to see a Psychologist. They can help you in so many ways. I think it is a good idea prior to your appointment with the Psychologist that you make your own list of what you would like to discuss with the Psychologist. I find this clears my mind and helps me think about what I need help with most. In my experience a Psychologist can offer many different strategies/therapies to support you and improve your quality of life. Please be honest and do say how you are affected by your situation, so that you receive the best care.  You also need to give your input as to what treatments you feel are best for you. I really hope you get a lot of support and reassurance through seeing a Psychologist. 

[Backspin]

Thanks so much for that but the appointments are made.
Its all new to me, never had medication before, but last 2 years been very tough.
We keep in touch.
God bless n thanks.

[Paulette]

Hi,

I hope you benefit from the appointments with your Psychologist. It's so important you sought help during the tough times you have been going through. Just do what you feel works for you. 

God Bless

[Suey]

Hi, I’m Suey. I have recently returned home after a horrendous year in Brisbane most of the last twelve months.

My ex husband passed away and I had only lived here for about 2 months then. I was just getting to know the place and joined a group to get to know other people as I only knew the Estate Agent here.

I had just, finally got out of a co dependant relationship with my sister which i had been part of for many years on and off. She was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive towards me and towards others since childhood.

I just decided that at 63 I really wasn’t going to allow her to continue bullying me and basically running my life. I felt free for the first time in many years and just decided that I could live wherever I wanted to so I chose my happy place!

Things were going quite well for me and then my ex of 2o years married and altogether 28 years of knowing him passed away. He had been ill for some time but was only 50!

Anyway, I was the only one available to sort out his house that looked like a drug den and was full of rubbish and filthy. My name was still on the Title and Mortgage so really had no choice. My kids were totally ignoring me till then and after the funeral I didn’t see them for nearly a year. I had no support and there was so much to do.

He left no papers behind so I could sort out his accounts or anything. Everything was on the laptop and no one could get into it.

After the pressure piled on top of me and my savings spent on trying to fix the house up to sell it, I really hit rock bottom. I went home and stayed inside for three months, had various attempts at suicide and discovered that the nearest mental health unit was 30km away at Maryborough but had no beds.

A friend eventually came up from Brisbane and after being treated like a second class citizen in the public hospital up here I went back to Brisbane to my friends house which wasn’t much better.

I went into a private hospital over Christmas and then in January I had the Covid booster and ended up in Prince Charles with a suspected heart attack! After a week of tests they said it was severe Myocarditis which is inflammation of the heart muscle apparently caused by the Covid booster! Very rare for my age, how lucky am I.

I eventually went back to the private mental health hospital but was so depressed and anxious about trying to get everything done on the house, painting, carpeting and the garden etc plus the house flooded which lowered the house price by about $100,000!!

I was suicidal again and ended up in Acute Care mental health unit at Prince Charles again. I was there about 10 days that time and a few others this year. One for another myocarditis event also.

I was referred to a support worker who was brilliant. She visited and took me to appointments as I couldn’t drive because of the heart condition.

I have the opportunity to make new friend here and see a couple of people I sort of know but finding it almost impossible to go out again. I now have a gorgeous puppy - Ginny (like Ginny with red hair from H Potter!) I think she is keeping me going atm but I walk on the beach with her every morning and then just go back to my unit for the rest of the time. D0on’t think I’m eligible now for a support worker when I really need one.

I’m worried that I’m spiralling downward again. Becoming isolated and headed for some negative behaviours. It’s happened a lot in the past. I have to find someone to look after Ginny if I have to go to hospital for mental health reasons or for myocarditis which is a lot better but can happen again.

Once I find someone to pick her up in an emergency there’s nothing to stop me really from going back to old habits when I’m really depressed or manic.

Sorry this is so long. I didn’t mean it to be. It just happened as soon as I started typing.

Suey

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Suey Welcome to the forums. 

I have sent you an email so please look out for that 💝

I'm hearing how difficult things have been for you recently and it's understandable you're feeling the way you are. It sounds like it's all been a lot. What I am also hearing is that you have chosen your happy place and you have a little furry friend in your life and I think it's wonderful you have taken these steps to look after yourself. 

Thank you for reaching out to us here and trusting us with your story. 

I'm going to put this peer support suicide prevention resource here for you to have a read of. 

Do you have ongoing support from a psychologist or psychiatrist? It sounds like things are really hard. 

Please reach out to crisis support if things escalate for you. We are here to listen and will help you in any way we can. 

Welcome 🌷

[Alicent]

Hi guys, 

I’m new here and feeling too burnt out from work to want to speak to friends and family and am on the wait list for a psych

Thought I’d give this a go. 

I’m 26 and am on medication for anxiety, depression and OCD and struggle to keep my Dermatilliomania (skin picking) in check when I’m stressed. Aside from this, I suspect that I may have ADHD which would explain problems that I’m currently feeling at work. 

Guess what I’m trying to say is I’m lost on what to do exactly and want to know what the steps are on getting a diagnosis for ADHD in Australia?  

[Paulette]

Hi Alicent 

I am so sorry to hear how you have been struggling. It's worse still when you are brave enough to work while being so unwell. I so hope you can get some help soon. You have much support on the sane forums site. I think the first place to go is to your GP to get diagnosed with ADHD. My daughter also has ADHD but medication has helped her a lot. Due to my poor mental health my children are no longer in my care but simply being able to help anyone is a blessing. 

[R2RSD2]

Hey-ho, here's a recent and late-diagnosed ADHDer after years of being treated for either depression or anxiety. I've had a proper assessment from a clinical psychologist who specialises in ADHD - and have been working really well with them. Problem is, I know that the 'gold standard' approach is a combination of stimulant medication and behaviour therapy. Waiting-lists for psychiatrists who deal with ADHD are either closed to new patients or around 9 months, and only psychiatrists in Australia can prescribe certain medications (Imagine telling somebody newly diagnosed with type one diabetes that they have to wait 9 months before a specialist doctor can prescribe them insulin!)

Before anybody tells me that you don't need meds for ADHD, well, I have actually tried the lowest possible dose of a stimulant, and my mind went calm for the first time in my life. It wasn't the party-time that neurotypicals get - it was so quiet and I could even take a nap.

So, I'm in a holding zone, about four months on from my diagnosis with no idea of when a psychiatrist appointment will appear. My diagnosis come about because after years of using coping mechanisms really well, the challenges of having young kids, plus going back to study, plus being the main housekeeper in my relationship, made all my ADHD traits super evident.

Funny thing is, after I got my diagnosis, my dad realised that he struggled with similar things and he's now got a diagnosis too. It's definitely hereditary and it's definitely in my family.

I'm basically scared now that I'll never get the treatment I need to pull myself together. I'm also grieving for the crap I/my-brain put myself through and probably others too.

Sorry. How's that for a start?

[Backspin]

Hi ASlicent.
I think you are amazing to work with the conditions you have, welcome you are helping us all.
God bless you.

[Paulette]

Hi Everyone,

I am not sure if I am even posting in the correct place but I am feeling quite low and anxious right now. I have had to accept 4 night shifts in a row and there was no way out of it. It has become my worst nightmare at present. I try very hard to avoid working more than 2 consecutive night shifts. It's painful emotionally as there is no choice die to staff shortage. I'm very grateful for a job but it's the lack of sleep which is going to make me feel so much worse. I need the overtime due to my low income. I tried desperately to keep this Saturday free as I am permitted to visit my children. I failed to accept one shift to be ready and rested to see my beautiful children. I now finish Shift on the Saturday morning and no way to sleep as I will be travelling and hour and a half to see my children. I also have photos taken of my children and myself. My terribly fatigued face so upsets me. I have no flexibility here either. Last visit was 8 weeks ago and next visit who knows when. I wanted to be rested and happy to finally see my children and again.....feels all my plans are ruined. There's 2 issues I feel like my life has become work due to Covid and others having to isolate at short notice. Feelings I have right now are a mixture of sadness, anger, trapped into a situation I tried so hard to avoid. The carer of my children records every interaction to the most minute detail. My children are no longer in my care due to my combined anxiety and depression. The carer constantly criticises any attempt I make to inform her I had to work I am tired. My requirement during visits is to never ever appear tired unhappy or in any way emotional in front of my own children. I feel the current unattainable demands are exhausting. It's never acknowledged that I don't drive or that I had no sleep the night before or that I had hauled as many gifts as I could for my children halfway across the state. I would do it all again for my children but the constant judgement aggression and lack of compassion on the part of the carer is unbelievable.  I feel I have no voice and this is what is hurting me the most. I'm exhausted and so demoralised here but I am so desperate to see my children. The loads impossible to carry. Please any support would be so appreciated. I hope what I have said makes sense. It's 2am in the morning I feel so alone and too much time to think about how this whole situation is too big too great to deal with. I'm trapped in it and just trying to get some resilience.