Lived Experience Forum

[Mare]

Hi

i am new to this

my problem is fear

it is strange because I am normally quite social

 it lately the thought of going to large group gatherings, family 

is just too much to handle

i suffer from depression mostly managed by medication and would like to find a good health professional to talk to, after Christmas, because just at the moment I would like to rest and spend time at home with my husband.

does anyone else feel afraid of these sorts of gatherings

Regards 

Mare

[Former-Member]

H @Mare,

Firstly welcome to the Forums - I am glad you have found us, and it's great to have you be a part of the community. I think many members on here can relate to that feeling of anxiety around socialising and attending gatherings... especially now with Christmas just around the corner. Fellow member @Jacques has spoken before about his fear of socialising and attending gatherings. I wonder if he might be able to relate to your post at all? It's great you have your husbands support. And seeing a health professional sounds like it could be a helpful next step too. While this can be scary, it could be an imporant first step in your journey towards recovery.

All the best. 

[Mare]

Years ago I saw a psychiatrist and it was not helpful at all, we had family counselling I was 20 at the time so I struggled on my own for quite a while. It wasn't till I got married in my late thirties, that I saw a doctor who talked about chemical depression and put me on tablets to help me. And they have. But now and again I would have a downturn. We moved from Mildura to Mornington and my doctor of 12 years mentioned that maybe I should see someone else, a therapist of kinds. My husband and I have been down here for 12 years now and I have recently retired. I have rejected that but now sort of feel that I should see someone. It is hard to trust anyone tho because of those experiences when I was in my early 20s if that makes sense. 

[Appleblossom]

Many people I have met have mentioned christmas phobias ... often about the gatherings ... is it the size of the gathering that bothers you ... do you mind it when it is more anonymous ... like a carol service ... it sounds lovely that you want to spend quite time with your husband .... buon natale

[Mare]

Gatherings at all are an effort Tho we were able to go to some community carols the other evening for awhile. Then the next day I felt fearful about attending a family function, my husband went instead and I stopped at a nearby cafe....he didn't want to go up to Melbourne on his own to my brothers place. I love the peace and quiet of our home and feel safe there. And I have needed to rest as in sleep in the afternoons as everything is just too much. There is no energy there. As I write this I feel cross with myself because it sounds like a port party and so many other people have so much more to deal with. 

[Peter_Pan78]

Yeah, I can relate.  When you're not feeling the best, social gatherings are tough gigs.  If you're unemployed like I was for a time, hearing about other people, who are employed, talking about their jobs can be a mood-killer. At the same time we need to feel like we belong.  For a long time I avoided social situations because they were too much for me, but at the same time it can be just the thing if you are feeling isolated like I was.  People need people, generally speaking