Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

Hi @TiSoG21 , thanks for explaning about your husband having a 'contamination with dirty things' OCD - that's useful for me to know. I didn't actually realise that contamination could be something not linked to germs...fascinating. 

I was also fascinated by how you moved the mattress. Including how you had to clean any surfaces that the mattress "came close to", even though it was covered with the fitted sheets. And afterwards, what happened to the fitted sheets? Because they would surely have been contaminated?

I'm gobsmacked by your patience and love and acceptance for your husband with all this!

For me it's all about germs, so actual dirt (soil) is relatively 'clean' in my head. It's funny how our minds work.

[saltandpepper]

@NatureLover I missed the event but wanted to check in. Someone mentioned in their comment here about anxiety behind OCD, please educate me, I'm interested in learning what I can if anyone wants to drop some knowledge here.

Did the topic of any hereditary factors come up? Just curious really. My brother and I both have OCD though in different capacities, as well as my father.

Keen to hear everyone's experience around the subject 

[Shaz51]

Hello @NatureLover ' @saltandpepper ' @Adge ' @TiSoG21 ' @Anastasia ' @Former-Member 

Good questions @saltandpepper ' I wonder too 

My husband has to have everything in its place all the time 

[Anastasia]

Hi @saltandpepper 

Go back to page one and you will find the link to the topic where it's mentioned and then discussed ☺️

@NatureLover 

[NatureLover]

Hi @saltandpepper , nice to have you join in...I think OCD is an anxiety disorder. ARCVic, the Anxiety Recovery Centre, who were the guest expert, have more information on anxiety disorders and OCD  here .

The hereditary aspect didn't come up in the discussion. What form does your OCD take @saltandpepper ?

@Shaz51 

[saltandpepper]

Cheers @NatureLover I will have a read through tonight. Thanks for the link.

I feel uncomfortable saying, because I don't know anyone else who does this. But I skin pick. My scalp, face, lips, any cuts, my fingers. I can't stop myself even if it hurts and I'm b l e e d i n g, I can't stop. It gets to a point where I'll put off doing other things so I can just sit and pick. My face tends to look like a mess a lot of the time.

My brother and father both have compulsive behaviours, but they are not destructive, I suppose you'd say. 

[NatureLover]

@saltandpepper  You do know someone else who does that: me! I've done it since a baby. It's called Dermotillomania and ARCVic  deal with it - I've read it somewhere on their website. I think mine came from childhood abuse initially - now it's an addiction, as you say. 

Actually my skin picking has been diagnosed as Excoriation Disorder. It serves many useful and helpful purposes for me, including calming and soothing me, helping me to think through things, helping me wake up in the mornings, etc. It's definitely not self harm, althoguh it has turned into self harm occasionally in the past when I've been suicidal. (Not for about 12 years, now.) I am lucky - as I'm female I'm able to use cover-up make-up on my arms, legs and face, and that works well for me. (I'm not sure whether you're male, female or non-binary)

I am really pleased to meet you, another person with this condition! I don't know anyone who does it to the same extent as me, although I know a couple of people who do it occasionally. Thank you for posting about it! 🙂

[saltandpepper]

Hey @NatureLover I'm sorry you've had to deal with it for such a long time. Since childhood. That's an incredibly long time. I'm also sorry to read that it started because of childhood abuse. I do remember reading about this one time, and I remember what little research had been done on skin picking is that there seemed to be a correlation between chilhood abuse and this condition. I guess it makes sense if the whole OCD thing is an anxiety related condition. For me, I've only been aware of the habit in adulthood, perhaps the past... maybe 10 years? Far out that's gone fast. Jesus

Yeah it's interesting isn't it? I wouldn't describe it as self harm either. Self harm is done with intention. While this obviously causes physical pain, that's not what we set out to do. It's the same for me, it's a soothing thing. Which sounds crazy because picking at your flesh doesn't sound soothing. It does get worse when I'm stressed, but basically any time my hands aren't busy they're picking away. I actually get sore fingers from it.

I'm a private person, I don't like to disclose my gender though I think it may be obvious at times. But let's just say I won't be putting make up on anytime soon. But anyway, I'm sort of in a place in my life where I don't feel like I need to hide so much of myself. If someone sees my crusty looking lips and they ask what's happened, I just tell 'em. People don't really think too much about it anyway. Well, at least they don't talk to me about it haha. But I've never been the kind of person that stresses about appearance. But I guess the bar for that has always been set pretty low. Unwashed, old clothes, grommit. Probably hard to notice any scabs hanging about under all that.

Also, just want to say that if you ever wanna chat about what happened to you, re the abuse. I'm here to listen. I started a thread for people who have been through childhood abuse Survivors of Childhood Abuse if you want to join, I'd love that. I find it difficult to talk about, more comfortable being the listener so feel free to click on over and also if you know anyone else that'd be interested please tag them.

p.s I'm a little shocked that there's someone else who does this. I'm glad I said something, feels a little less lonely now.

[NatureLover]

Hi @saltandpepper , I'm glad you feel a bit less lonely now. 💙  But I am so sorry  that you've had childhood abuse too. I will definitely visit your thread - thanks for the link, and for your kind offer to listen. 

I'm sorry I mentioned gender - there's no need to disclose your gender at all. I'm glad you don't stress about your appearance, as that means less stress for you. 🙂 I don't stress too much either, although I do use the cover-up makeup, so I guess I do stress a little. 

I've never got sore fingers from picking, but I am covered all over in sores and scars. I get sick of covering them in makeup or band-aids - it takes ages - so I like winter for the fact that I wear long sleeves and pants. You mentioned the physical pain from picking, but I actually hardly notice any pain any more - it's more like the relief of feeling that an itch has been scratched. Actually, the slight pain from picking grounds me and distracts from emotional pain. 

I'm really enjoying this conversation with you - thank you. Excoriation Disorder seems rare, and I had hoped to meet people here on the forums with it, when I joined. Thank you for understanding, and for sharing your experience. 🙂