Fighting Stigma

[AlwaysMyself]

@ForUs88 , are you comfortable to explain the current situation (learnings of why its happening and the stigma theyre adhering to), whether it be on this thread or the other one?

Its 100% fine if you dont want to! Do keep in mind that while anonymous, it is still out there on the public web - so that could influence how much you want to say if it could then be linked back to you due to unique situations. 

Trying to think how I can best help/support you?

I am happy to brainstorm with you actions you could take, but I would probably need to know what you have already tried and what the result was. 

Best bit of advice I can give at current: document everything, and do it as close to the time of it happening or being said as possible. You can even take notes whilst in a meeting. 

My other tip for how to brainstorm productive actions to help, is to always try to see it from the other person's perspective. What may THEY be thinking? What might be colouring their perception/interpretation? What pressure might they have on them that influences their actions/behaviours/responses? What motivates them, what do they care about?

[SmilingGecko]

@ForUs88 It sounds as if the system is really messing with you and I'm sorry things are the way they are for you at present. Its one of the reasons why I've been able to remove myself from it because of the inherent systemic failures. I hope you will be ok and manage to find a way through. Being sick with MI is enough allready and having to fight your way through the system is an added unwanted burden that no-one needs. My life isn't perfect and psychiatry did a lot of damage to me I'm just glad to be finally free of it and try and live my own life on my terms now. I am 56 yo I will say the wheel never stops turning though. 

[ForUs88]

@AlwaysMyself

I was trying to be vauge but offer a sense of the severity and power this service has because many have disbelieved that cops can be that horrible and then their discomfort somehow is pinned on me. I'm tired of being hurt by others not wanting to be adults and know that anyone can be bad including cops. 

Yes, it was a cop and it is the police force that have prejudices and have extensive stigma over mental health issues and those who suffer from the conditions. No there is nothing I can do about the assault because he was a cop and because they are threatening to punish my partner if I mention it in any legal complaint. 

I guess people will have to put up with the truth that cops can be and in this case are corrupt and hopefully they'll not be jerks to me because of their own issues about that dark truth. 

[AlwaysMyself]

@ForUs88 i believe there are ill intentioned and bad behaving people in the police (but also some good ones), and in most if not all organisations sadly. ☹️ some humans can be very horrible. And as you say, when they are the ones with power and control in the situation, it can be hard to know what (if anything) can be done if they "band together" - and the police force is traditionally known to do that from what I've heard (so do some doctors!).

Does your partner have a lawyer or some legal aid? What advice do they have/give?

[ForUs88]

@SmilingGecko 

Thank you for your empathy I appreciate it deeply. Not many give me compassion often just hurt and judgements and cruelty. I am told a dozen times a day that what I'm doing isn't done (defending my partner and taking on corruption and systemic abuse) apparently once a fale claim is made by this service one is just supposed to take it and move on. I won't. He's innocent. I just need to work out how to have that heard through the stigma that let it be questioned to begin with. 

Thanks for your comments. I fully back getting out of the system they have never been good to us even before this. We dream of getting away too. I hope you have a better time than you yourself have gone through in the past. Good luck and thanks. 

[ForUs88]

@AlwaysMyself 

No he doesn't. He's not allowed one. Even I am experiencing terrible things trying to get a lawyer myself they all don't want me to expose what's going on so no one is standing with us. 

The latest advice from a lawyer is much the same. Give up, accept it. 

I never will. This is insanely wrong and how everyone let's it continue and prevent those willing to stand against it from doing so is just as bad. 

So no we don't have any support. I need to be a one man band. 

[AlwaysMyself]

@ForUs88 "No he doesn't. He's not allowed one."

Wow, he's not allowed a lawyer? 

I thought every person had the right to engage a lawyer? (Except in some urgent circumstances for example where there isn't time, but that is not the case in yours)

https://www.alrc.gov.au/publication/traditional-rights-and-freedoms-encroachments-by-commonwealth-la... 

Do you recall why someone said he was not allowed to engage a lawyer?

[SmilingGecko]

Thats allright @ForUs88 I stand in solidarity with you ❤️ 

[Appleblossom]

Hearing you @ForUs88 

sorry we can’t give more support 

I am dealing with it too, in my family, similar but different 

I never would have believed it 

we are not taking “legal remedies “, as we no longer have faith in that system either. It will just make rich people get richer and cause angst.

[ccau_82]

I want to acknowledge the strength it takes to reach out about this. What you're experiencing isn't just "in your head" - stigma creates real, measurable stress in our bodies and nervous systems.

Understanding the Body's Response to Stigma ~ When we face ongoing judgement and discrimination, our nervous system interprets this as a threat. Your body may be holding tension from constantly defending against these attacks on your character and worth. This isn't weakness - it's your system trying to protect you from what it perceives as social danger.

Practical Support Strategies:

1. Nervous System Regulation ~ Simple breathwork can help reset your system when stigma triggers stress responses. Try box breathing (4 counts in, hold 4, out 4, hold 4) to signal safety to your body.

2. Body Awareness Check-ins ~ Notice where you hold tension when facing judgement. Often it's the shoulders, jaw, or chest. Gentle movement or conscious release can help discharge this stored stress.

3. Grounding Techniques ~ When facing institutional prejudice, grounding exercises help your nervous system remember you're safe in this moment, regardless of others' opinions.

Resources and Support ~ There are organisations specifically addressing mental health stigma in service communities:
- Peer support networks often understand this dynamic better than traditional services
- Some therapeutic approaches specifically address shame and stigma (look into trauma-informed therapists who understand service culture)

For Your Relationship ~ Your mutual support isn't something to defend - it's evidence of resilience and authentic connection. Healthy relationships often include supporting each other through challenges. The judgement you're facing says more about others' discomfort with vulnerability than about your relationship's worth.

Moving Forward ~ Consider this: stigma thrives in isolation and silence. By speaking up, you're already fighting back. Your nervous system needs to know that you have support and that you're not facing this alone.

The institutional prejudice you're experiencing is real and harmful, but it doesn't define your worth or your relationship's value. Focus on what helps your body feel safe and supported while you navigate these challenges.

You deserve care, respect, and support - both individually and as a couple. Don't let others' limited understanding dim that truth.

It sounds like you're dealing with an incredibly stressful situation that's affecting both your mental and physical wellbeing. When we're under this level of sustained stress, our nervous system can get stuck in protective patterns that make everything feel more overwhelming. I'd strongly encourage speaking with a mental health professional who can provide the specialised support this situation requires.

Your wellbeing matters, and there are trained professionals who can help you navigate these complex challenges safely."