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β06-01-2021 12:48 AM
β06-01-2021 12:48 AM
Feeling Abandoned.
Hello .
I'm not sure if I know what to do.
I am a middle child ( 48 ) ... I have 2 older siblings ( 53 & 51 ) plus 1 younger ( 41 ).
My Mum passed away last July after a long battle with Lewy Body Parkinson's and dementia.
I've only just recently found out that I was the only child excluded from the Will.
My relationship with my Mum was not the best. I was kicked out of the family over 19 yrs ago. I've been suffering from severe depression and anxiety and a recent addiction to morphine tabs.
Hearing about the Will has put me in a mindspace where I don't feel loved by any of my family. I have days where I'm happy on the outside but on the inside I feel like a child who is crying out for a hug.
I can't get into see a Psychologist as they are all booked out in my town. I don't know what to do.
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β06-01-2021 06:22 AM
β06-01-2021 06:22 AM
Re: Feeling Abandoned.
Emergency hug coming your way π
Family can be so hurtful. And the pain isvfelr so deep. Maybe because they are 'part of us' - our identity as a human. Coming to terms with them NOT loving us, or treating us as equally valued & important & relevant... When they're not there for us... it hurts so much. And so deeply. Our inner child feels like our world has been shattered, and feels like it's all been a lie, our very existence, sense of belonging rocked to the core... π it's heart breaking and I feel it with you. My mum did a death will in secret, and my Bro2 blurts its inout at mevin front of others "you've been cut out of the will you know!" My hurtheart sank, it didn't make sense as I was caring for mum 24/7 at home before she went to palliative care... It took a week to get a copy of the will and learn that I wasn't 'cut out' but what he was referring to was my mum appointed him as 'sole executor' (totally twisted misuse of the role). Poor mum was heavily medicated att, 4days before her passing, it was a lot to take in... but what hit hardest was this attitude from siblings that THEY wanted me out of the picture ππ’ Gosh it hurt, still does at times (three years later), the grief waves from it all still throw me into an intense suicidal tailspin at times Not good! It hurts, I get it! And feel deeply with you. To feel 'singled out: like that, by people who once love you and shaped your world... Messes with our head I know it well... you are not alone.
A cousin of mine went through this when his dad died... he was the oldest of four and it caused a huge rift among siblings to this day. A terrible legacy to leave behind. The reasoning behind his fathers decision was becausse of his drug use and the asdu
'Primal therapy'.
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β06-01-2021 06:26 AM
β06-01-2021 06:26 AM
Re: Feeling Abandoned.
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β06-01-2021 06:28 AM
β06-01-2021 06:28 AM
Re: Feeling Abandoned.
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β06-01-2021 09:52 AM - edited β06-01-2021 09:56 AM
β06-01-2021 09:52 AM - edited β06-01-2021 09:56 AM
Re: Feeling Abandoned.
Hi @MissD99 I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds like a really tough situation to be dealing with on top of everything else. In terms of psychologists, that's really frustrating a lot of them are booked out! Have you thought of asking to be put on a cancellation list? Otherwise, you could try booking a call with a counsellor at Sane's Help Centre if you feel like this will be helpful or there are also services like Lifeline (13 11 14) if you're in need of more urgent/ immediate support. Of course, you're also more than welcome to keep posting and seeking support from the members here. Sending virtual hugs π€π€ and know that we're here with you as you navigate this rough and rocky road π
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β06-01-2021 02:25 PM
β06-01-2021 02:25 PM
Re: Feeling Abandoned.
@MissD99 Welcome.
Iβm sorry you lost your mum, and for the feelings of abandonment you are left with because of the will. I think I would feel the same.
Sending you a warm hug. Rejection from parents is really tough.
Take care.
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β06-01-2021 03:22 PM
β06-01-2021 03:22 PM
Re: Feeling Abandoned.
Hi @MissD99
I am so sorry to hear how your family has treated you - I actually read this earlier and took time to think how to reply - I know what it feels like
But the way your mother and other family members have treated you is no reflection on you - in fact - the way they cast you off when you were ill is an indictment upon them - and it makes them look bad in fact but yes - I know - esp having your mother cut you out of her will - it's really sad
You certainly could be helped by a psychologist - it might be necessary to get yourself onto their waiting lists - or even go further afield to find one. We are a peer support group here and we can a lot about each other and support each other - however we are not professionals - though we certainly have the lived experience to share
Also - although it costs a lot of money to see a solicitor if there are a lot of assets involved in your mother's estate is would be worth it. Wills can be and are challenged - and it's really appalling that your mother cut you out -
You don't have to be loved by your family to be a fine person - it is sad and lonely at times - we all need to find our own way as adults and seeing a psychologist could help you find your way -
We certainly will try here and I would like to welcome you are a new contributor
You are most welcome
Dec